Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize