Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
