Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
