I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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