i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
