Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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