yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize