you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
