It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm jealous of your bromance
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize
