I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half