Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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