WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
