You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
