Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
