Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
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do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
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You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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