Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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