I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize