I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
