But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
