Texts From Last Night

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  (239): View more from Florida

  Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?

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  (239): Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed? http://tfl.nu/9or7
  Replies (7) Good night (776) Bad night (2365)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.

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  (845): Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck. http://tfl.nu/wpar
  Replies (17) Good night (1098) Bad night (2813)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off

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  (717): he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off http://tfl.nu/z28p
  Replies (39) Good night (6976) Bad night (2249)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.

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  (207): No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have. http://tfl.nu/1nc6
  Replies (51) Good night (1564) Bad night (3613)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks

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  (215): i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks http://tfl.nu/79xy
  Replies (36) Good night (1311) Bad night (5981)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Oh and I threw up on myself...

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  (303): Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine (303): Oh and I threw up on myself... http://tfl.nu/hxn5
  Replies (41) Good night (1760) Bad night (7312)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.

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  (336): I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me. http://tfl.nu/4zk7
  Replies (24) Good night (2783) Bad night (1160)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.

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  (603): Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes. http://tfl.nu/rqjn
  Replies (8) Good night (2328) Bad night (1334)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone

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  (216): he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone http://tfl.nu/anp6
  Replies (5) Good night (4223) Bad night (1189)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter

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  (724): Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter http://tfl.nu/v115
  Replies (2) Good night (1500) Bad night (541)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.

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  (252): I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard. http://tfl.nu/2lw3
  Replies (17) Good night (4230) Bad night (873)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check

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  (936): Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check http://tfl.nu/ivap
  Replies (4) Good night (842) Bad night (445)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you

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  (425): Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you http://tfl.nu/3zbf
  Replies (2) Good night (752) Bad night (384)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.

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  (403): I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover. http://tfl.nu/0ddb
  Replies (2) Good night (512) Bad night (298)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK

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  (703): OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK http://tfl.nu/irl1
  Replies (8) Good night (946) Bad night (390)

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