we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half