My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.