we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.