i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize