Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize