Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
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3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
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I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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