i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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