how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
