You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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