i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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