we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
