I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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