It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
