her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
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