the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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