so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize