Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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