Please, let me fuck your mom
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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