Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i dont even know how to be here
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And to think..we used to do everything sober...
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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