Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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