Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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