after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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