HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize