At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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