it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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