You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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