have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
