Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
