I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize