i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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