I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
