People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
