I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
