The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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