Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
