Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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