So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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