I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Small penises have feelings too.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
