No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
