You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
